Sunday, April 27, 2008

alahai anak omak

omak den dah pandai send email. siap ado attach gamba laktu.



ingat nabil ingat nasik lomak mambau (baca: nak beli nasi lemak pun kena amik nombor untuk que).

bil, kasi teh o ais kurang harga satu!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

doktor, saya tak boleh tidur malam sebab missed the boat beli saham google.

satu ketika dulu aku pernah (secara tak sengaja) subscribe sms alert celcom pasal famous quote mcm tula.

sebelum aku stop subscribe tu, ada satu sms yang aku ingat sampai sekarang;

jangan sesekali membuang masa memikirkan perkara yang anda benci -lao tze

aku banyak buang masa la sekarang.

takpela, at least aku bukan john arne riise. (aku rasa dia manusia paling down dalam dunia semalam)


we were all in love and we were all got hurt

semalam aku telah pergi tengok wayang cite congkak dengan amar.

dalam cerita itu nanu telah tidur terapung.

"anak aku dah hilang! bini aku dah terapung!", keluh suaminya.

oh ya, kami share pop corn bersama.

kepada farah (awek amar) jangan jeles.

ta!

Friday, April 18, 2008

gua cilok dari forum

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.


The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.



Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.



Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sal es rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.




Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

T he turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was pr oudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

company perlu maximize kan capital, bukan kedekut sampai dalam hutan pun tak nak negotiate beli arah. baru aku tau apa rasa sesat dalam hutan.

ada satu perasaan yang sangat priceless, yang pertama kali aku rasa,

bila

di saat kami berjalan setelah enam jam di dalam hutan yang gelap tanpa mengetahui apa yang akan muncul di hadapan,

tiba tiba

muncul satu cahaya samar2.

harap jangan jadi macam lagu metallica;

then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, its just a freight train coming your way.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

aku pernah mimpi arsenal vs henry. never going to happen.

aku tak faham kenapa arsenal terlalu unlucky season ni.

tapi tak apa, aku rasa season ni semua mmg perform well..

aku banyak belajar control emosi bila tengok bola, terutama bila ada hard time macam ni, macamana aku taknak bagi 'down' jika arsenal kalah.

malam tadi mmg aku sure semua peminat arsenal akan down gila tapi aku rasa aku dpt control la benda tu, walaupun susah, improve sikitla dari dulu.

aku masih ada kawan2 yang tak pergi kerja/belajar/makan satu hari bila arsenal kalah, aku tak dpt bayang apa yang mereka buat lepas game malam tadi.

oh, aku kena pergi corporate war game esok sampai weekend, yang katanya camp yang benar2 menguji pelajar mba untuk control emotion, stress, macamana nak handle 'hard time', negotiate dan team building.

how to face the real business world.

4 hari tidur dalam hutan beb.

aku kesian tgk classmate aku yang mak budak, family yg kat kelantan, yg baru kawin dll.

aku yang bujang pun malas nak pergi.

"akak bawakla anak2 akak dalam beg"

p/s= diorang kata tempat aku dah buat benda ni since '96, harvard business school pun start 2003. bangga tak bangga?

Sunday, April 06, 2008

narrator : this, is freedom. losing all hope is freedom.

ungkapan "aku akan pastikan aku beli rumah dulu, baru aku melamar kau." semakin menimbulkan uncertainty.

uncertainty is worse than risk.

mari doa NOVAMSC naik 12 sen dan IDAMAN naik 17 sen.

kpd syafiq abas, kalau benda ini berlaku, dan arsenal masuk semi, aku belanja kau nasik goreng napoleon kat murni.

ta!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

tiada kata yang tak klise, hingga habis bahasa bermutu. (azam baru kali ke- 8 : blogging dengan aktif)

siti, pembantu rumah dari seberang yang lebih mesra dipanggil bibik,

berkata sesuatu kepada aku.

"kamu kelihatan semakin gendut"

aku terasa sangat down, aku mencapai pisau yang terletak tidak jauh dari situ,

dan aku tikam perutnya.

beliau mati begitu saja.